PJ’s blog

Gangs Of Mums

If you’ve seen Hot Fuzz – and if you haven’t, I suggest you do – then you’ll know there’s a part of the film where Simon Pegg’s character is chasing a criminal. Actually he’s a boy in a really bad shell-suit, but he stole something, so technically both descriptions are right. Mid-way through the chase, he – the copper – comes across a gang of Mums who block the way. And, while I laughed at it, when this occurs in real life it is no laughing matter. And gangs of Mums are on the increase, if my loosely biased statistics prove right. So watch out: buggies coming your way!

But in all seriousness, when you’re legging it to the bus stop, or you’re really in a rush to buy that new Mariah Carey CD before everyone else – don’t laugh, one of my friends was in this predicament – there is nothing more upsetting than a gang of Mums. Much as everyone has a right to pavement space, these buggy-pushing-dwellers take it one step too far systematically in my area. It’s war in these here parts, and with their weapons of doom, I pity the person who tries to take on the steerer of a buggy!

There’s a possibility I am getting carried away now. In truth, it’s likely only once a month that I run into a serious Vietnam situation. But still, I thought I would get the word out there. There are people working in the Police force, Private palliative care and other industries who I am sure could use a head’s up like this.

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Comic Relief Is Coming…

I know this is going to sound really over-negative, but what the hell, here we go: I hate Comic Relief on TV. Notice that I didn’t say “I hate the charity that is Comic Relief” or “why does Comic Relief bother?” I am a huge fan of people raising money for charity. The bone I have to pick is about how rubbish the TV sometimes is…

Last year was pretty horrible. We had to watch celebrities dress-up in drag and do Cheryl Cole numbers, and we had to watch really hideous comedy that wasn’t at all funny. Oh, and let’s not forget the local news presenters doing stand-up. Never mind died, they needed exorcising after those “performances”…

Honestly, if I had loads of money I would pay them not to put Comic Relief on TV in the way they do. I’d much rather see a load of real actors put on some kind of an obscure funny show. That is their job after all, so why not let them do it and entertain us?

Sorry to sound all moany, but tonight it’s coming to get us again, and there will be no escape from the bad taste! If I had a worldwide roamig sim card rather than a contract phone which I have already expired my minutes on then I would call all my friends to warn them so they don’t end up trapped at home watching it.

I know they raise loads of money through Comic Relief, but imagine how much more they would raise if everyone in the country watched it because it was so much better than it is? Now there’s a thought…

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Face It, You’re A Hypocrite

Recently I read a rather interesting article in my local newspaper; it was written by a GP from our local health centre, and he was complaining about the fact that so many people who don’t really need emergency help keep going to A & E. This wasn’t what was really fascinating though. The really fascinating part was the other article he’d written at the back of the newspaper. The fact that that was there only confirmed my suspicions: GPs may be clever and academically gifted, but they aren’t always clever enough to get away with being a massive hypocrite.

In the first article he was complaining about the patients, and in the second article he was moaning about when he was younger and he was looking for jobs. He talked of how he would spend ages looking for Occupational Therapy Jobs and all kinds of other jobs, only to get nowhere. Then he ranted for a few paragraphs too many about how he had been forced to go on benefits, as he could barely afford to go out to nightclubs and spend money on drinks, which was his right, apparently. You can be sure of one thing: I in no way felt sorry for him. Am I the only person who sees something fishy about that?

This, of course, inevitably brings me to GPs’wages and the diabolical state of affairs that has led to them being allowed to grow to massive proportions: you do have to wonder how any GP can have the audacity to discuss money in a newspaper when we’re all too aware of how much they get paid (and that’s aside from their monumental bonuses…).

Something tells me not much is going to change in the future, but who knows, here’s hoping…I changed my broadband today after all.

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New-Leaf-Turning

Usually I moan. I’m sure you’ve noticed, you can’t really miss it if you’ve been to this blog. Today I am going to do something different and turn over a new leaf.

Not really! Why would I want to do that? I can’t think of one good reason. This post, you see, is about why turning over a new leaf can be overrated. I am not suggesting it’s a bad idea to do this, just that it’s become far too common and nowadays people do it without really thinking of the consequences. Here are a few things that can happen if you turn over a new leaf without thinking things through first:

1) You get very frustrated. Now you’ve joined this exclusive club you can’t be the old you who loved smoking, eating chocolate and cake. What kind of a life is that if you’re a smoking, chocolate devouring cake lover?

2) Friends will disown you, even that one with a Pharmacy job who is really dull and has no other friends. Yes, he’d rather sit in a storage unit on his own muttering than hang out with you. Man, this really is bad.

3) People will shove healthy things in your face, thinking that now you are a new leaf turner that’s what you want. The reality is that that’s the LAST thing you want! How sad your life will now be and there’s nothing you can do, for you have been soiled…

See what I mean? Whatever your situation, I urge you to think very carefully, and save yourself some hassle. You’ll be thanking me when you go to the shops to buy your cigarettes next week, although watch out: it’s still going to be extremely dull next time you meet up with your pharmacy friend…

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Garden Life

Stop what you’re doing: if you’re able to, look out the window at the garden and see what’s out there. Nothing, you say? Just an empty garden with nothing much to be seen? Well that’s where you’re wrong, my friend, not that I blame you: I’d have thought the same before I amassed all my tons of garden variety knowledge. According to Countryfile there are badgers and wild bore and all kinds of strange other creatures out there. OK, so in most gardens it’s just a few blue tits, but still, it’s better than nothing, so have a look out there and see what you see!

All this inspiration from Countryfile had a big effect on me: I decided the other night to get up at 5am and keep a vigilant lookout on the garden and see if there were any creatures lurking. And I was rewarded! There, at the back of the garden, was a very speedy hedgehog making how way down the garden, past the heating oil tank , at lightning speed! (Seriously now, he was going some. I’ve never seen any small animal move so fast in all my life.)

The hedgehog then made what can only be described as an acrobatic leap over a very small bush. It wasn’t much of a bush for any other animal to jump, but for a Hedgehog I’m sure it was a big deal and the Hedgehog in question was rewarded greatly for it (I had a vision of all the other Hedgehogs and birds gathering words for him as a kind of trophy).

What’s the point to my rant? Simple: there’s a whole new world waiting to be discovered out there. One with acrobatic Hedgehogs and all kinds of other amazing things that has to be seen to be believed.

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Are Soap Story-lines Getting TOO Extreme?

The title of this article is an interesting question, I think. Because although in the past few months Coronation Street and the like have pushed the boat out plot-wise, back when I was growing up, things were also quite “interesting”…

Take Neighbours, for example. Now, although you wouldn’t have seen a story-line aboutwarring Cosmetic doctors or any deaths, you might have seen a bit of racy action. In fact, If I remember rightly I remember one episode of Neighbours which saw Todd and his girlfriend practising sex. That’s right: lying on top of one another, dry-humping on the bed while their friends did the same on the bed next door. At the time it didn’t seem particularly rude, but now, reading what I have just written, I can instantly see how rude it sounds…

I suppose the reason why we all think that story-lines are more extreme now is this: back in the 80s, there was a fair bit of room for manoeuvre about what you put on screen. But then the 90s came along, and all of a sudden the watershed came in and prevented anything racy before a certain time. It would seem that producers are now finally working out what they can get away with, which is probably why it seems as though now is the most exciting time of all for soaps.

The real question is: what IS really too extreme? Because a few years ago, the thought of a live episode where a tram crashed and killed-off half the crew would have been utterly unthinkable. Yet now it seems completely acceptable, doesn’t it? In fact, the more violence the better as far as some viewers are concerned.

Only time will tell what will happen next. I for one am looking forward to where the characters will take us (even though I don’t watch many soaps really, honest…)

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Mr Ungrateful Strikes Again

Last Christmas, I was thrilled. Mainly because it was Christmas, and I am always thrilled at Christmas – with the prospect of not having to work for what seems like an eternity, of course – and also because I had received some half-decent presents for once. I say half-decent because it wasn’t a complete success. For example, I received a bottle of Apple Cider Vinegar from my weird auntie (“good for the bowels it is”) and I received an MP3 player from my parents. A bit of a weird, slightly too hip gift from such un-technologically minded people if you ask me, but still, you should never look two gift horses in the mouth.

So, now we come to my problem with the MP3 player. Now, I may be being a bit fussy, but to me it just seemed too…Light and small! The thing is no bigger than a fifty pence piece, feels like a toy, and reminded me of a book I read about the Russian’s dropping little toy-like mines in Afghanistan, to try and temp the children into picking them up. That was enough to put me off to tell you the truth.

Walking around with it since, I have gotten used to it. But it is still a bit odd: it weighs practically nothing, and after years of hauling a CD player around I’m just not used to that at all. In fact, I am decidedly not used to it. I like my gadgets to have some weight to them, you know? Call me old-school but that’s just the way I am.

I did consider taking it back, but I lost the receipt before I could do that. Still, I reckon my folks have done me a favour in a way. I need to enter the new digital revolution sometime, so what better time than now?

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Be Very Afraid

Last week I had the opportunity to watch the amazing documentary “Gasland”; if you’re not already aware, the film is about how a process called Hydraulic Fracturing has affected many parts of the US. A relatively new process designed to extract clean energy from the ground, it has come under fire from many parts, and it’s not hard to see why: by drilling into the ground and exploding small charges, gas is released, but ground water is also massively affected – in some cases making it completely undrinkable for people who have never had a problem with their supply before.

And it is very worrying: water, like most things, never actually disappears. Instead it just goes through cycles, and appears here or there in a different manifestation. The really frightening thing about this process and some of its effects is that water could potentially be ruined for good. Then, as it goes through the process, it could in theory have a catastrophic effect on nature and life as we know it.

It may sound all a bit sci-fi, and you may think that no government could be stupid enough to employ such a dangerous method of energy-seeking, but as we speak mainland Europe is already being tested for its suitability on this process. Yes, you read that right: even though there are fundamental flaws in the process which nobody at top government level is willing to comment on, they are still planning to do it in the UK and Europe. What is tantamount to nothing less than pandemonium on our door-step.

Whether you’re in manual handling training or IT, engineering or teaching, we all need to start reading up on this. I for one don’t want dirty water coming up my door-step.

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UK Jobs Market Will Feel the Pressure In 2011

As if things weren’t bad already, now I find out that the more intelligent amongst us feel that 2011 won’t bring any relief so companies should probably not invest in any new payroll software..

The last quarter of 2010 saw some of the labor statistics, survey results and predictions that the UK jobs market will feel the pressure in 2011. Two government agencies, the Recruitment and Employment Confederation (REC) and the Office For National Statistics both reported that the job market will face a very unstable year in 2011. The reports prompted some employers to plan ahead and reduce their labor force at the start of the year while some decided to take only temporary or contractual employees. These employers definitely will not take employees to fill up permanent job posts.

Another report that went out in December, 2010 stated that because of the planned workforce cuts in the following year, most of Britain’s working people are moving out of the country to find better jobs abroad. What is sad here is these people are skilled workers and they are leaving their own country to offer their talents elsewhere. The prediction that more than 100,000 workers will be laid off in the public and private sectors at the start of 2011 makes them more decided to walk out of the country’s dim job market. The pressure is felt more heavily on the private sector rather than the public sector.

However, some experts offer their optimistic views on UK’s job market, saying that it can be expected that the market will stay in its recovery status and be better toward the later half of 2011. While it is not forecasted that the jobs economy will go back to years 2008 and 2009 when there was a countrywide recession, the year 2011 will be a difficult year rather than a prosperous one.

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What is your purpose?

Every man should have a purpose in his short life. Some desire to have great power, other prefer to contribute to society by inventing “tools” which will make human life better and easier. Some are destined to be parents and raise great children. Some are born to entertain others. Artists like Doug Hyde , musicians like Bono, sports men like Beckham. Nevertheless it appears to me that a lot of people just don’t have this one purpose in their life. They live day after day clueless of what they are supposed to leave behind. And after 70,80 years of living they just lay down and die. This is truly sad. I don’t want to be such a man. I want people to remember my name, with good. I want my kids, grand kids, grand-grand kids to be proud of me. I want to make my parents proud. Because I think that every man should make his parents proud. They raise you, they hope and pray for you, they give everything they have for you. And you have to give them something back. So, here are questions to ponder: What is your purpose in life? Are you living your life wisely and in full? Are you giving everything you’ve got every single time? Do you even think about the future? Do you truly appreciate the precious moments? I hope that You, who is reading this, You have asked yourself those questions at least once. And if you haven’t – do it, do it now. Because a life without a purpose, is a wasted life. Here is a positive message from me: Find out what is your purpose in this world, and no matter what, no matter how hard it is, work for it. Don’t give up, because some day you will know that your name will be remembered with good.

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